Schedule Cleared

Last week Marc got a call from an old friend letting him know that a mutual friend and former co-worker's cancer had returned.  Not only had it returned, but it was back with a vengeance in her liver, lungs, and so on.  The old friend had just learned of the news himself and let Marc know that she was at this point unresponsive.  The doctors believed she may have up to two weeks.  Later that evening Marc received a second call that she had passed.  It was startling and deeply saddening.  I felt bad for Marc and his inability to say goodbye, for his friend and the pain she had suffered, but most heart breaking for me is the family she leaves behind.  You hear it all the time, but she was too young, her children just college aged.  They will not have a mother to see them get married, be a grandmother to their babies, or just pick up the phone to chat with about meaningless nonsense.

The following day was deemed Cuddles & Cartoons Day at the Dittmer residence.  The little men and I retreated to the sanctuary of our king size bed.  We threw out the confines of clocks and to do lists and were just present with each other.  How often do I allow myself to just be present for a whole day with my sons?  Not often enough!  Repeatedly I find myself saying, "Just a minute, when I am finished, or not right now."    It is normal I know.  Life is busy and with age comes responsibility.  Sometimes something stops us in our tracks, slows us down for a minute.  It reminds us that if this was it and tomorrow was not to come the to do list would be for naught.  Our little people would remain however and what would they remember about me?  I hope that they would know and believe that they meant the world to me.  That nothing mattered more than God their father, their human father, and each of them.  That their Momma would drop everything just to cuddle and watch cartoons.  To make them brunch in bed!

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I try to be an intentional person, but it is hard.  I get tired.  And I too, too often loose my patience and my cool.  I began reading a blog this am called The Orange Rhino: 10 Things I Learned When I Stopped Yelling at My Kids.  She took a 365 day challenge to yell less and love more.  Wow!  I have a feeling I will be sharing more with you about anger and parenting in the future.

How I wish I did not have to be reminded to clear my schedule.  To be present, to slow down, and just be, especially with Thing One and Thing Two.

What do you need to clear your schedule for?  Or is it who?